A trauma bond is a complex psychological and emotional connection that forms between an individual and their abuser, often in the context of an abusive or dysfunctional relationship. This bond can be strong and difficult to break, even when the relationship is harmful or toxic. Both physiological and psychological factors contribute to the formation and maintenance of trauma bonds. Here's an explanation of the different stages and the underlying processes involved:
1. Initial Attraction and Positive Reinforcement:
- Psychological Aspect: In the early stages of a relationship, there may be positive experiences, moments of affection, and perceived kindness from the abuser. This creates a sense of attachment and reinforces the idea that the abuser is capable of providing love and support.
- Physiological Aspect: Positive experiences trigger the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin, creating feelings of pleasure and bonding. This reinforces the connection and makes the victim more susceptible to bonding with the abuser.
2. Incident of Abuse:
- Psychological Aspect: The abuser may exhibit controlling behaviours, manipulation, or outright abuse. However, the victim might rationalise or minimise the severity of the abuse, attributing it to external factors or believing they can change the abuser.
- Physiological Aspect: Stress responses are activated, leading to the release of cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, the victim's stress response may become dysregulated, contributing to feelings of anxiety and hypervigilance.
3. Trauma Bond Formation:
- Psychological Aspect: The victim becomes emotionally dependent on the abuser, seeking validation and approval. There is a cycle of abuse, including periods of tension, abuse, and then reconciliation or apologies. The intermittent reinforcement of positive experiences amidst the abuse reinforces the bond.
- Physiological Aspect: The brain's reward system becomes dysregulated, making the victim more reliant on the intermittent rewards provided by the abuser. This creates a cycle where the victim seeks to alleviate the distress caused by abuse by seeking a connection with the abuser.
4. Normalization and Denial:
- Psychological Aspect: The victim may start to normalise the abusive behaviour, convincing themselves that it is not as bad as it seems or that they deserve the mistreatment. Denial becomes a coping mechanism.
- Physiological Aspect: The brain may engage in cognitive dissonance, where contradictory beliefs coexist, reducing the perception of the severity of the abuse. This helps maintain the bond despite the negative experiences.
5. Isolation and Control:
- Psychological Aspect: The abuser may intentionally isolate the victim from friends and family, increasing dependence on the abuser for emotional support.
- Physiological Aspect: The victim may experience heightened stress and anxiety due to isolation, reinforcing the need for the abuser as a source of comfort.
Breaking the Trauma Bond:
Breaking a trauma bond often requires external support, therapy, and a commitment to personal healing. This may involve rebuilding a support network, developing self-awareness, and establishing healthier boundaries. Professional help, such as therapy or counselling, can play a crucial role in addressing both the psychological and physiological aspects of trauma bonding. In the next blog, we will be looking at what healing entails.
References
Corelli, C. How to break a trauma bond with a narcissist. https://www.carlacorelli.com/toxic-relationships/how-to-break-a-trauma-bond-with-a-narcissist/
This post is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.