The end of a relationship is almost always painful and emotionally challenging. As disastrous as it is when it happens, though, you do have the strength to put the relationship in your past and move forward. How can you find this strength?
Consider the following suggestions to hasten your recovery process:
- Acknowledge your feelings, at least to yourself. Admit that you feel bummed out, rejected or incredibly disappointed in how things turned out. These are human feelings and you're entitled to them.
- Write in your journal. Even though you might not often write about personal things, when you're experiencing the end of a relationship, journaling will provide you the space and time to "empty out" your feelings.
- Document everything you feel and why. Record questions you lack the answers for. After a few weeks to a month of writing a couple of minutes each day, you'll notice your troublesome feelings beginning to subside.
- Recognize a break-up as opportunity. Even though this is tough to do, view your break-up as a time to expose yourself to different activities, people and social situations.
- Try a new sport, like tennis, or do Pilates. Take an interest in the theatre. The key is to utilize your extra time in productive ways.
- Learn something new. After you go through a break-up, it's good to stretch your mind a bit to give yourself something else to think about. Find a topic that's interesting to you.
- Take that language class you always wanted to take or a photography course to learn how to snap great photos. Even just checking out interesting non-fiction books from the library can be a wonderful intellectual adventure.
- Focus on your body. Think about areas you want to maintain or improve.
- For example, you may be thrilled with your arms or strong legs. Or maybe you have some "trouble spots" you'd like to work on. Take up an exercise to strengthen or tone those areas of your body. This is a great way to enhance your self-esteem.
- Expose yourself to new experiences. For example, maybe you've always wanted to travel or try vegetarianism. Now you can concentrate on undertaking such projects.
- When you go through the end of a relationship, avoid staying in the emotional pain and angst of it. By experiencing new things, you refresh and renew your existence. Trying new activities illustrates that you've chosen to move on and be optimistic.
- Communicate regularly with a close friend or family member. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to is all you need to get yourself on the road to recovering from a relationship split. Find a person whom you believe will listen and give you honest feedback.
- Share your thoughts and feelings about the break-up until you no longer feel the need.
- Seek support when you need it, before your mood drops further. This is the smart thing to do any time you're down, regardless of the reason.
- Recognize that in order to get over it, you've got to go through it. In reality, trying to just "skip over" your feelings about the relationship's termination tends to delay your overall recovery.
- Once you allow yourself to feel the feelings and express them in some way, you can then move forward unfettered.
Experiencing a relationship break-up might be one of the most challenging experiences you'll ever have. If you act on these suggestions, you'll be surprised at how quickly you'll be back on track to the healthful, happy life you deserve.
This post is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.