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Is the pain of staying greater than the pain ofchange?

Dr. Elizma van der Smit

 

Author and life coach TonyRobbins has a famous quote that says: “Change happens when the pain ofstaying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

According to CatherineDietz, we humans love the comfort of familiarity. And many ofus are willing to stay in this comfort zone even when thefamiliar doesn’t feel good and we long for something better.

Blaž Kos feel that mostpeople wait until the pain of being stuck becomes much bigger than doing
something, just anything. And by then it’s usually far too late toconstructively solve a problem without severe damage. People wait untilthey get a serious disease, go bankrupt, the relationship becomes extremely
abusive, they burn out or experience a psychological collapse because of work
pressure.

The more you ignore themonster, the bigger and stronger it becomes, and it’s going to eat you sooner
or later. If you don’t act as soon as possible, a collapse is inevitable, and waiting until thecollapse is a sure way to completely destroy your life.

So, the first exerciseyou should do is to list all the benefits you are enjoying while beingstuck. They are usually deep psychological and emotional reasons thatdrive you to cling to a certain situation. What’s so good about it? What are
you really afraid of?

You may feel like youdon’t deserve to be happy, that you aren’t good enough, you may be afraid of
financial insecurities, that you won’t meet a new person who can treat you
better etc. Thereis always a deep psychological reason why you cling to where you are, and you
must become aware why you’re doing that. Usually, you also lackself-confidence in that area big time.

Catherine Dietz on how to Stop Procrastinatingand Start Moving Forward:
Ifyou’ve been wanting to make changes in your life but keep avoiding it through
procrastination and other self-sabotaging behavior, the first thing I
recommend is to make a commitment to yourself to stop procrastinatingand start making changes.

We all procrastinatesometimes. But if you find yourself regularly putting off whatyou know you need to do – especially iffollowing through will make your life better – there’s no sane reason to
procrastinate.

The key word here is sane.Because, in your mind’s attempt to keep you safe in the familiar and away from
the unknown, it will surely give you all sorts of ‘good reasons’ as to why you
should put things off…‘just for now’.

But when that now turnsinto later, and that later turns into never, you’re missing out on the life
you’re meant to enjoy!

So, I encourage you tostart with simple baby steps…especially when it comes to making emotionally
charged and difficult changes in your life. Simple steps like journaling about
the changes you’d like to make, or researching books, workshops, or
professionals that can help you.

The more you commit totaking these baby steps, the greater confidence and trust you’ll build with
yourself. And the greater clarity you’ll gain about how to continue moving
forward.

Resources

This post is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393. 

This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.